He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
~Psalm 23~
*shujun's*
+raxsiel's+
=jia min's=
~jia qi's~
Credits
Lenezoe
Archives
October 2005'November 2005'December 2005'January 2006'February 2006'March 2006'April 2006'May 2006'June 2006'July 2006'August 2006'September 2006'October 2006'November 2006'December 2006'
[mood] tired
[listening] kuai di ai qing - stella huang
[doing] waiting for death
[thinking] ...
[quote] wat is family?
mum is sitting in front of me.....
had long for her company ever since she start working....
but now.....
both of us are so quiet.....
we dunno wat to say to each other.....
things have changed so much.....
haiz....
_lonely me_
_lonely me_
_lonely me_
_lonely me_
_lonely me_
_lonely me_
_lonely me_
_lonely me_
_lonely me_
_lonely me_
_lonely me_
_lonely me_
_lonely me_
11:35 PM
[mood] bad
[listening] hao xiang ni - energy
[doing] toking to mum (rare chance)
[thinking] something
[quote] i dunno hu is actually my fren now.....
i dunno wat is wrong with me today.....
juz feel tired....
sianz....
a very bad mood....
sch was alright....
juz for a little thingy.....
getting very irritated by some ppl....
i dunno.....
juz a feeling.....
feel so out of the grp.....
onli they 3 are enjoying life.....
they are happily in their own world.....
and my best fren is one of them.....
i dunno wat to say.....
and something is wrong with her.....
or mayb something is wrong abt both of us today.....
anyway.....
today is a damn bad day.....
so far in cp,
click best with denise.....
compared to other stuff.....
yesterday chat with her online.....
she say tt even if we left ttsh.....
still can keep in contact....
millions of ppl tell me tt.....
and more then 90% din do it.....
even now i left nuh.....
wanna ask poh yoke and mary out also so difficult.....
this scenary will occur nxt time i left ttsh....
keep in contact with the staff?
haiz
frenz dun always stays......
i sometimes juz wish i dun have any of them.....
11:23 PM
[mood] ?
[listening] wo de ai - sun yanzi
[doing] kumon maths F101
[thinking] family and frenz
[quote] "sometimes i feel as if no one ever loves me......"
today i had a great day at cp.....
joking and chatting with the staffs.....
and kajiaoing them....
they are such a nice bunch of ppl.....
27 nov sun
went to church....
as usual....
now i noe,
ms hong coming back on the 6th of dec.....
hmm.....
see how la....
*some tots*
nice frenz are hard to find....
even if u find one,
the frenz may not stay....
haiz....
this world is like tt.....
when a person steps into ur life.....
another person will leave without u noticing.....
when u began to realise tt,
it is hard to contact the fren agn.....
sis leona ask me not to be pessimistic....
i can onli say....
nobody understands me.....
i also dun understand myself.....
being pessimistic is already part of me....
part of my life....
and there is nothing for me to be optimistic abt.....
haiz
12:09 AM
[mood] fine
[listening] tong lei - sun yanzi
[doing] practise xmas songs
[thinking] of someone.....
[quote] " everyday is the same......"
went to cp today.....
it was fun.....
for the time being....
haha....
but we made a few errors here and there.....
anyway.....
they say we did a great job!!!
:D
and today....
i ran the most in my yr 2 life.....
6 times to and fro between cp and quest....
tiring but funny....
haha.....
i feel like a counter girl at mac.....
except tt wat i give is 24hr urine bottles, blood samples etc.....
not burgers, and food stuff....
haha
*yawnz*
have to work tml.....
so sianz....
1:01 AM
[mood] :)
[listening] xmas songs for concert
[doing] practicing with the cd
[thinking] the words sis leona said yesterday
[quote] " where u r feeling low, think of the brighter side. this need to be trained as u are growing up. " by sis leona
it have been such a long time tt i last blogged here....
everything is still the same....
tml will be going to cp le.....
will be swatting flies...
haha.....
today aft work on the way home....
was toking to bel and izyan....
toking abt relationship.....
now i noe y i am unattached.....
becoz ppl kept thinking tt i am attached!!!!
i told them i am single....
they dun believe.....
do i really have the " i am attached " look?
haiz
yesterday aft choir pract.....
went home with sis leona.....
we chit chat a lot in the car....
she was telling me not to be so pessimistic....
and telling me tt i muz train myself to be optimistic.....
haiz....
hu dun want to feel happy lor?
i also want to be happy....
but....
i dunno....
the life i am leading now,
is packed and yet lonely....
and nobody ever understands me....
or even try to understand me.....
i am juz a child....
i need showers of love and concern....
i juz want more attention on me.....
is tt really so difficult?
she will not understand wat i am feeling now.....
my home izzen my home.....
my family izzen my family....
my friend izzen my friend....
i juz want everything to be alright.....
but i dunno how to solve this....
nobody listens to me.....
see....
how to be optimistic?
i was thinking....
if i were to suddenly disappear one day.....
nobody will ever notice tt i am gone....
or mayb,
even my heavenly Father,
will not even notice tt....
Father,
i noe tt i am not an obedient child....
but i have onli have a simple wish....
can u be my side always and nvr leaves me?
pls dun forsake me....
amen
:'(
1:21 AM
[mood] soso
[listening] na xie hua er - fan wei qi
[doing] kumon maths hw
[thinking] tml if going sch or not
[quote] " the best place to keep ur memories is in ur heart "
feeling a bit betta.....
but still not very ok leh.....
:(
went for my kumon class juz now.....
cleared my lvl D maths......
yeah.....
tml dunno whether going sch or not.....
still not feeling ok leh.....
haiz
12:18 AM
[mood] bad
[listening] yi ran shi peng you - yu heng
[doing] feeling awful
[thinking] nothing
[quote] "dun anyhow eat when u noe tt u are not well "
juz came back from the doc juz now.....
gastric flu.....
grrr....
feeling so awful now.....
how am i goin to slp tonight?
have been feeling like tt since 6+pm....
:(
as usual.....
at ttsh.....
today help lishan clear the 24-hr urine.....
and all the blah blah blah stuff.....
everyday is the same.....
aft tt went back to nuh for maskfitting.....
it was....weird.....
and the mask is suffocating.....
sometimes i wonder if she is my friend....
juz feel so distant....
haiz....
oh ya....one gd new.....
i got a mc for tml.....
tt means i can choose to go or not to go ttsh tml.....
will see how tml.....
9:11 PM
[mood] :)
[listening] rang wo cha diao ni de lei - cai chun jia
[doing] thinking.....
[thinking] abt hmm.......?
[quote] " i wish tt someone would love me like my heavenly father "
12 nov sat
went to the doc with my dad......
at bb polyclinic.....
he was sick since thurs.....
i saw his fbc......
shld be bacterial infection ba.....
*shrugs*
13nov sun
went to church today due to duties.....
as usual, nagging from shi mu cos nvr go choir for sometime le.....
and bad news!!!!
ms hong coming back soon.....
another round of nagging agn.....
haiz.....
went to J8 to eat aft tt with shujun....
on the bus, met tz (a guy fr my church).....
he is a quiet guy.....to me.....
cos we nvr tok to each other before.....
juz see each other at service and at most smile at each other.....
rmb last wk, me and shujun saw him at pastamania....
he is eating alone.....
i wanted to ask him to join us but i dun dare.....
cos i noe if i suggest tt, shujun will have lots of things to say and u noe.....
the aftereffect....
today, me and shujun walked into J8.....
i have this feeling tt he is behind us......
i wanted to turn back and look....
but nvr, aft shujun said:
" he macham behind us leh....but i better dun turn back and see, cos later he think i wat...."
so i din turn back also......
none of us turned ard.....
and bothers abt him.....
aft eating at yoshi....
when walking past pastamania.....
me looked into the restaurant.....
but din see him.....
oh wells.....*shrugs*
was thinking abt it.....
hmmm.....
betta dun think too much......
everything is predestined......
but he is a really nice guy.....i think :)
actually there is quite a handful of nice guys ard me.....
juz tt i let the feelings past.....
and dun bothers....
i am the type tt i let the guys make the first move.....
if not, every guy to me is a friend.....
wat am i toking sia?
shld focus on my studies instead of this kind of things.....
i am so busy with work, studies and extra classes.....
(i noe i am juz giving myself excuses)
yah....i am tt busy.....
shall not think of it anymore.....
aft tt i went for my kumon class.....
it seems like the clock there is faster than my house sia.....
miracle tt i finish my work in 28 mins.....
the last time i do the same wksht is like 30+ mins.....
so much different sia.....
haha....but anyway.....
i am abt to clear lvl D maths.....
still left with D131......
and for eng.....
i have to repeat FI 31.....
sad case....
it seems like my sis is doing betta than me sia......
at least she like din repeat much.....
and she doing like EI81 le.....
while i still repeating the first few.... :(
nvm....i will catch up with her in a matter of time.....
i dun believe i am tt bad ;)
haha.....
10:59 PM
[mood] ok
[listening] wei zhi de yi hou - cai chun jia
[doing] listening to songs
[thinking] hae lecture today
[qoute] " the easy things may seemed easy on the surface, u will not noe its difficulty until the end"
today is lect day at nuh....
janet's lect was ok.....
all abt stuff i noe.....
edwin lect was on spectrometry.....
damn sianz......
all the physics stuff on light.....
i ji tao slp thru the whole lect.....
susan's lect was damn chimalogy.....
on the 16 cells panel.....
ji tao blur thruout the lect....
haha....
rmb most of us said we wanna work at blood bank.....
cos it was easy.....
i guess all of us changes our mind now.....
allan's lect is ok.....
mostly we already noe during nuh attachment at micro lab.....
went to west mall juz now.....
to shop.....
but it seems tt there is not much to shop there....
*yawnz*
10:07 PM
[mood] tiredz
[listening] 101 ge da an - jiang mei qi
[doing] resting
[thinking] tml's lect
[quote] "If u wanna do more work, make sure u dun complain abt the after effect "
went to nuh for seniors' fyp presentation.....
i muz admit tt they speak damn well lor.....
haha....
most of them were very interesting....
oh wells, there is always exceptions.....
:) anyway, well done seniors!!!
next yr would be us liao.....
muz get started for the stupid tutorial.....
haiz.....
always got this kind of kang tao one....
went for kumon class today.....
wah lao eh....
the corrections i had ar......
can u imagine, i sit there for 2.5hrs and i still cannot clear my corrections?
and i have to repeat like half of my lvl E ws......
damn sianz diao lor.....
tot i could clear F by tues.....
but now it seems impossible....
so disheartening.....
but nvm, i shall fast fast finish lvl E and move on......
and try to complete the whole maths course in 1.5 yrs.....
jia you wor!!!
12:00 AM
[mood] slpy
[listening] di yi ci - guang liang
[doing] reading
[thinking] nothing
[quote] "silence is golden"
today was jonnie and lishan at misc bench.....
yoohooo.....
today was the best attachment day ever at ttsh.....
they teach me so much....
and i did so much stuff.....
although it was tiring.....
but at least i feel tt i am learning smthg.....
thanx jonnie and lishan.....
went centrept pizza hut with vanessa today.....
eat lots of nicey stuff....
haha....
but hor, some ppl had to spoil this peaceful dinner of ours.......
they were so noisy lor.....
they think they r the onli ones in the restaurant.....
nvm, i nvr like any ppl fr tt sch.....
hmph....
6th oct sun
din went to church......
cos me too tired to get up so early in the morning.....
dun feel so attached to church nowadays.....
had to wake up so early on my sundays.....
haiz.....
but nxt wk muz go.....
no choice.....got duties on hand.....
sometimes i was thinking.....
mayb me and shujun sign up for the duties juz to keep ourself attached to the church ba......
so tt we have no choice but to go.....
haiz.....
went to my kumon lesson....
did my AT for lvl B, C and D.....
all close to full marks.....
lost a few marks due to some silly mistakes....
haha....but nvm....
ms gan say i got potential to finish maths in the shortest period of time.....
hehe....i also hope so.....
my reading also done well..... :)
proceeding to lvl F maths loh.....
jia you!!!
aft tt went granny house.....
the soup so damn shi shui zhun lor....
not nice at all....
there also so boring....
nothing to do.....
then it is so far away somemore....
sianz ar.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tt's all folks!!!
12:29 AM
[mood] sianzation
[listening] wo shi xin fu de - liang jing ru
[doing] preparing to slp aft this
[thinking] tml whether going church or not
[quote] "nobody cares....."
went to work as usual.....
aft tt,went for health screening.....
everything is normal except for my body fat percentage....
which was higher by 0.8......
oh wells......
wun be dying so soon......
since i am tt healthy.....
*shrugs*
went for choir practice.....
it was so damning sianz.....
or rather....
i am too tired to enjoy the singing....
ji tao want to slp.....
and have to bear with the hunger (cos i din eat due to the health screening)......
haiz.....
went to pastamania to eat aft tt with shujun......
it was nice eating with her.....
and chatting also....
shall i go church tml?
or should i not?
so sianz, so tired......
aft the torture at ttsh....
aiya, hu cares.....
tml then see how.....
feel like going then go lor......
sometimes i juz wander if anybody cares.....
not feeling moody, juz thinking.....
cos it is like.....
the ppl ard me....
macham all in their own world....
or rather....
i am living in my own world.....
and nobody bothers to care......
haiz.....
1:07 AM
[mood] ok
[listening] wu tiao jian wei ni - Liang Jingru
[doing] msning with poh yoke
[thinking] tml muz go ttsh....sianz ar.....
[quote] "life sux...."
31 oct mon
first day of sch at ttsh.....
the lab was damn big lor....
and so high tech....
we go there like "wahhh".....
like some sua koo fr kampong....
haha....
then got lost in there some more......
so funny.....
but attachment was boring......
we macham some idiots fr nuh....
muz teach fr scratch.....
how to allocate the urine in tubes also muz teach.....
haiz.....
i hope tt fri wun be tt bad.....
1 nov tues
rot and rot and rot.....
gd day for resting....
2 nov wed
lect at nuh....
miss nuh sooooo muchy....
haha....
but nvr see py and mary :(
but had a nice day!!!
being in an environment so familiar with.....
:)
but muz do project....
grrrr......
dunno which idoit told np tt we r not given enuf chance to speak in public.....
and we kanna all the shit.....
so angry.....
nobody actually cares abt us......
being so busy with our studies le.....
stilll muz do the so called projects.....
i am still a student u noe!!!
and i have all my wkdays morning attachment fr 9 to 5......
some days night and wkends working part time and tuitions......
now still got project.....
mayb i will die soon fr working too hard......
haiz.....
went to the teresa tang concert.....
it was so well done!!!
the songs were so nice and the singer really looked like her.....
amazing.....
really missed her songs and her....
so ke xi tt she died so early.....
so gan ren the concert.....
3 nov thurs
rested at home today again.....
did my kumon hw.....
it was getting difficult man.....
*prays* tml's class will be betta.....
1:09 AM
Apple (tag me at the bottom!!!)
18
16th July 1987
Cancer
St. Anthony's Pri(1999)
Swiss Cottage Sec(2003)
Ngee Ann Poly,Biomedical Laboratory Technology(current)
A pessimistic little girl,
not really happy living in this world
but enjoys every moment spent with family and frenz.
Believe that in this world,
nobody loves her except her heavenly father.
Loves
God
Family and Frenz
Peace
Happiness
Music and Singing
Hates
Vegetables
Exercise
Quarrels
Wishes
To be loved
To be happy
Good results